‘I am the ONLY one who can help ME – and I CAN’
It did not take long to realise I have to look after myself. The learning was hard and to let go of all the feelings, thoughts and beliefs that was accumulated in the form of pain was not easy. Yet, today I can smile while I write with the intention to share my thoughts with you. I hope that you may find this useful.
I am strong beyond words can describe. I was able to mask and suppress my emotions to the extent that I totally could and not understand my emotions and feelings. Now that I have written this in black and white I can feel a sensation in my left side of my body that is cold and tingly just letting me realise that it still hurts. The good news is my eyes feel some heat rising but my heart is calm and I am still smiling. This is really good news.
What I have discovered over the past years is just amazing. The most important lesson I cherish is that the knowledge of the human power which is absolutely infinite. All I have to do is call the power within. Be positive, clam, believe and work hard. Another crucial aspect of life is being open minded, non-judgemental, trusting, learn fast and be ready for adaptation. It is pretty cool and it is the only way to face the challenges of the current world.
Where I am today as a person did not come free I had to pay a price for every lesson I learned. The price I paid for the most important lessons was higher. Here I am not talking about the monetary value. Few ways I paid the price are with pain (as we hear – No pain No gain), humiliation, abuse, alienation and rejection. The worst price to pay was loosing trust and feeling used. These lessons I learnt was not taught in schools or universities. I succeeded in these lessons, in life, and I feel like a winner. I got my power back and I choose to be happy.
The starting point to become happy and well grounded as person was to take responsibility for my life and accepting the good and the bad. Be responsible for my thoughts, feelings and actions. By looking at the situations with new point of views. The second point is to understand that life is in balance. I found that I cannot be happy when I am not balanced within. That is to say, I have to be physically, mentally, emotionally balanced even at the level of the soul. I found that I cannot always use my logical reasoning when an emotional solution is required. True success lies in mastering oneself and there is much to learn and practice.
To maintain the happiness after accumulating years of dirt such as pain, denial, guilt, resorting to comfort food, negligence, feeling victimise and other debilitating belief systems is a huge task. I found that I have to be gentle with myself to be stronger within and face the challenges of the current world without fear and anxiety.
The key attributes to achieve the balance are pure love and understanding the true purpose of life. Living the life I meant to live. To find the true purpose is not straight forward. I had to search and seek within. Sense the purpose as a whole and not just from my mind. My heart and soul must be aligned with the mind and a beautiful sense of calmness draws upon making every aspect of life meaningful when the right purpose is identified. This is only the beginning.
Each person has their own principles and values that we follow. Some of the my key principles are below and they are not in priority order.
Be reflective, observant and truthful.
Be an equal to all. That is to say do not look down or belittle people.
Work hard and earn a living no begging and pleading.
Be responsible and accountable for the actions.
There is abundance of wealth for everyone to make their own.
Know, feel and trust The Creator, The Owner of the universe and the entire being. Referred as The God, Allah, All Pervading Power, Rab and many other names.
Be respectful to elders and kind to youngsters.
Be considerate and positively compassionate.
Everything happens for a reason only I am too ignorant to understand. This demands continuous education to handle the ignorance we deny.
Give and do without expectations. What you give is what you get.
I now live by the simple motto ‘Be Good, Do Good, Feel Good’
Life is a challenge to all of us. For some of us it is more demanding and even frighting. Some are very fortunate. I consider myself fortunate for one reason that I am not living in a war zone where every minute is filled with fear and uncertainty. I am grateful that I am not in an area where every waking second is faced by poverty and starvation. Be thankful for all you have and get inspired by what we do not have.
I believe we all have a choice, yet, I would not understand the choices that a person makes under the continuous pressure of war, abuse, hunger and oppression. I am thankful that I was able to experience hunger, abuse and oppression that today I can sense the courage and risk some take to help themselves. The sad reality is that some do not know any better due to what they are exposed to.
It is important to have hope and dream bigger than the world. My mentors dead and alive are great people that left immense amount of example. I learn and implement to suit my context. Great leaders live by what they preach. I found that it is important to have good role models that I can learn from and respect.
If you are fortunate like me you have no excuse to suffer, be a victim or blame external factors. As I did, you too, have to believe in “I am the ONLY one to help ME and I CAN.” The solution is a wholesome approach to heal the mind, body, heart and soul. Change is the only way you can help yourself. I helped my self by changing my thoughts, taking control of my feelings, being responsible for my actions and coaching myself through vigorous reflection, contemplation and by taking action. It was not easy. The changes were positive and it kept me going. It was slow and steady.
This is an additional list I have noted.
Make a difference
Set an example
I conclude by writing that I am concerned when I hear “I don’t care” or “Whatever”. If you hear or say it notice and contemplate for reasons or just engage in wonderment. This simple action will help you be conscious of the words you use. Words are reflections of thoughts and thoughts are powerful.
I feel good sharing my thoughts with you and I wish you all the best. If you wish to discuss about the topic do not hesitate to contact me. I am no expert but I am willing to share my experiences.